The Gift of Special Needs

“I would not change you for the world, but I will change the world for you. ― Amy Wright

 I want you to know that whatever you’re going through, you’re never alone.  There are many of us, scattered all over the world, doing our best to care for our child with special needs and the rest of our family.  Being a mom is hard work.  Being a mom of a child with special needs requires another level of dedication and commitment.

As this year winds down, I’ve been reflecting on how my Special Needs Experience has been mixed with joy, sadness, frustration, anger, hope, grief, and happiness.  But overarching all these emotions has been greater awareness, learning, truth, and opportunities for growth.

Often it is difficult to recognize the gifts this journey offers.  Over the next 12 days I would like to share some of them with you. 

So on this first day of Christmas I offer you the Gift of Special Needs.   

When I first learned that my daughter would have a heart condition and likely a genetic disorder, I was devastated.  What if she died?  What would my life be like?  How would I tell people?

It took a few years for my life to stabilize enough for me to fully grasp that despite the unpredictability and chaos I was experiencing, having a child with special needs had provided me a more enriched life with greater depth and meaning. 

The Gift of Special Needs is threefold:

Firstly, although the child with special needs may not be free from pain or suffering, they are often blissfully unaware of the negativity that surrounds many of us. 

Think about all that has been stressing you, and then add to it the natural, political, economic, and medical catastrophes that have been occurring around us, completely out of our control.  They compound our stress.   And thank God that our special children don’t need to concern themselves with most of this!   They can concentrate on what they need to and what they’re good at – and light up our days with their presence and their smiles!   Often the most peaceful place in my world is cuddling with my special girl in the still of the night, when I can forget for a few minutes all the things that are stirring in my mind.

Secondly, through the Gift of Special Needs, our other children learn how to be patient, caring, and thoughtful. Somehow this teaching and learning happens telepathically from our special needs child to our other children and those close to them without us having to orchestrate it (otherwise it would be something else added to the To Do List!). 

Special needs siblings are as special as our special needs children.  My youngest daughter was never told to look out for her older sister – she just did it on her own volition as soon as she was able.  And she was able to understand her sister’s speech better than her father and I were (and still able to!).  I’ve heard incredible stories about what these special needs siblings do to help.  They have an uncanny awareness of what is needed and when.  And as they get older they offer the world an in depth understanding of the needs of people with differing abilities. They often pick up the torch we've been carrying and continue to shine the light on our special needs children to let world see just how awesome they are.  What a gift! 

Thirdly, this gift helps us parents focus on what is most important in life.  We learn how to cut through the “fluff” and get to the crux of the matter.  No more dilly-dallying over that which appears inconsequential when our child may be (or has been) fighting for his life.  Initially when my daughter was in hospital, shopping therapy (for baby clothes) became my stress release but over the years that shifted to things that feed my soul ...walks, a swim in the lake in summer, reading a book, a conversation or a coffee with a friend. 

Maybe I don’t work in an office tower, wear designer clothes, drive an expensive car, or take exotic trips, but I feel content that I am able to squeeze out of my Special Needs Experience every opportunity for Growth, Awareness, Learning, and Hope. 

I hope you can too. 

This journey is life changing!  Hang on tight as there are plenty of bumps along the way.  Let me make your journey a little bit easier ... 

With love,

- Lisa xo

P.S. Any idea what tomorrow’s gift will be for the second day of Christmas?    If you guess correctly, I’ll offer you a 20% discount on one of my nutrition or coaching programs. 

P.P.S.  Follow me on Instagram @SpecialNeedsExperience